


Beating a Dead Horse

by webbstar



Series: Rooster Teeth One-Shots [5]
Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Animal Death, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-02
Updated: 2013-10-02
Packaged: 2017-12-28 05:47:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/988434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/webbstar/pseuds/webbstar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gavin and Michael are coming home from a party, but have to take a slight detour. Dialogue only. Implied Juggey. Mavin Friendship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Beating a Dead Horse

Gavin: "Holy shit! What the fuck was that?"

Michael: "I don’t know, it felt like an animal or something. I’m gonna pull over."

"Yeah, I guess that makes sense seeing as you’re driving a goddamned tank through the countryside.."

"Hey, a Hummer is a completely practical car."

"Yeah, it’s practically the dumbest car you could possibly spend your money on"

"Alright, get out."

"As soon as you unlock the doors, I’ll do that."

**Gavin and Michael get out of the car and head to the back to see what they’ve hit**

"It didn’t sound that bad so I’m not tha-- Jesus. Fucking. Christ."

"What? What is i-- OH MY GOD DUDE"

"Is.. Is that a horse?"

"What the hell else would it be?"

"I don’t know, I thought maybe I hit a deer or something, that’s more common.."

"Oh yeah that makes sense. I mean you thought we fucking mowed down Bambi, when in reality we just brutally murdered bloody Seabiscuit. Okay."

"Shut the hell up. We need to move this."

"Or, and this is just an idea, we can get back in the car, and drive off, and act like nothing ever happened. I like that idea." 

"No man, come on, grab it’s legs."

**The two men try and lift the beast, but ultimately fail** 

"It doesn’t want to move." 

"No, you just can’t move it because you’ve got sissy arms."

"Says the dude who cried when his girlfriend asked him to hold her dumbbells for a few minutes."

"Shut up, Lindsay is unnaturally strong.. Whatever, I think I’ve got an idea. Check my trunk. I think I’ve got some rope and like a hook or something from when we went mountain climbing."

"Oh you mean that other time you cried beca--"

"Just go, asshole."

"Okay, I’ve got it, now what?"

"Attach one half to the back of my car, and the other to its legs."

"You’ve got to be fucking kidding me."

"Hey, do you have a better idea?"

"I did, but apparently we can’t just leave."

"No, we can’t. Just do what I’m asking, please."

"I can’t really lift its legs..."

"Here, uh, use this stick to prop it up or something." 

"Oh I know, Wingardium Leviosa.."

"Gavin--"

"Oh right sorry, It’s LeviOsa, not LevioSA"

"You’re such a dumbass. Lift on three and then put the stick under. Okay?"

"Alright. One-"

"Two-"

"Three-"

**Gavin and Michael attach the rope to the horse’s legs and to the car,get back in the car, and begin to drive**

"So where are we going with this thing?"

"Somewhere that we can just drop it and cover it I guess.."

"Okay. Hey, do you think it belonged to someone?"

"Let’s not think about that"

"Little Amy from the farm is gonna be real surprised tomorrow morning."

"Please stop talking now."

"'Daddy, daddy, where’s Princess?'”

"GAVIN"

"Right, sorry, sorry."

**Gavin and Michael drive in silence until they drive into a pasture**

"This looks like a good place to me."

"Yeah. So are we just gonna lay it out here, or are we gonna bury it Dobby style?"

"I don’t know man I ju--"

"‘Here lies Princess: A free horse’"

"Could you shut the hell up for two seconds?"

"Probably not, but I’ll challenge myself."

"Thanks. Now I think we should like dig a hole and then just drop it in and cover it, I guess. Like a proper grave."

"Okay, do you have a shovel or something?"

"Probably not, seeing as I don’t possess the need to dig up shit everyday.."

"Oh bugger that. I’m not getting down on my hands and knees to dig a grave for a horse that YOU killed. "

"Fine. I think I see a little divot in the ground up ahead. We can just put it there and cover it with tree branches."

"That sounds better."

*They drive over to the hole, and in the process, the rope that has dragged a dead horse tens of miles gives out**

"Oh, fuck me. We have to carry it to the hole."

"Jesus sodding Christ. We can’t lift it."

"I think I’ve got some like bats or something from a short, we can like hit it in. That’ll probably be less work."

"So you keep bats and grappling hooks in your car, but not a shovel? Alrighty then."

"Don’t you start to question me. I’m tired. It’s like 2 or 3 in the fucking morning I just--"

"It’s 3:07. Come on, man. You’re wearing a watch, too."

"I just want to go to bed. Lindsay's probably worried. Please. Let’s just do this and go." 

"Fine, fine, let’s go." 

*The two men proceed to beat the horse, forward, moving a few inches with every swing**

"Hey, hey, Michael." 

"What."

"This is pretty tedious, eh?"

"No shit, Sherlock."

"I guess you could say we’re uh.. Beating a dead horse." 

"I--I... No. Just.. No."

*Michael throws his bat down and walks to the car*

"Michael? Michael what are you-- Micool no come on.. Don't be a pissy lil' piss pot. Micool. My lil' Micool, no! Come back. MICHAELL."

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you guys enjoyed!! -Kara <3


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